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Relationship Breakdowns

Friday, June 11, 2010

Out of gas… broken down on the side of the road… STUCK.  If we allow our marriage to go without care and maintenance, it will begin to breakdown.  What once was shiny and new, running on cruise control is now rusty and making funny noises when you try to start it up.


Unresolved anger, resentment, and general unhappiness with our partner leads to decreased intimacy.   It is very difficult to get “in the mood” if we feel that the workload is off-balance, if we feel underappreciated or criticized.  Petty arguments fuel the fire…. and the disconnection.


Research shows that women need to feel loved, appreciated and affirmed in order to want to have sex… on the other hand, men express appreciation and love through physical intimacy.  Let’s talk about how we can meet halfway, shift gears, and get back on the road!


Dr. Dae may be reached via e-mail at DrDae@aol.com or for daily tips and musings, follow her on Facebook.

 

 

Comments

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

So, Dae, would you consider decreased intimacy as a symptom and not a cause of strained relationships?

 

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Great question! A lot of that depends on gender and perception.
Many men express love and affection primarily through physical intimacy, thus would feel resentful, angry or hurt if that intimacy was diminished... for HIM, it would be the cause of the strain on the relationship.
On the other hand, most women need to feel love and... See More affection in order to be physically intimate, thus any resentment, anger or hurt she is feeling would lead to decreased intimacy... for HER, that would become a symptom of the strained relationship.
The good news is, regardless how different we are... no matter where the disconnect stems from... with communication, commitment and compromise there is a way to find happy common ground!
~Dr. Dae

 

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